


The Ugly Side of War

by Fris



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:52:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9090316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fris/pseuds/Fris
Summary: Horrible things can happen to the best of people, but can a horrible situation make for a good result?Three doctors bet on a patient who comes into camp unconsious. One of them will win the bet, another will win her heart.





	1. A surprising new arrival

Times were calm at the 4077 Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. People were getting bored and were looking for something new to do. They had had enough of reading the same books, playing the same card games and seeing the same people. Things tend to get pretty crazy when that happens.

A jeep drove into camp on a hot late summer’s day. It was not an army jeep, at least not anymore. It could been one some time ago but now it was rundown and ragged, good for nothing but helping villagers to safety. A Korean was driving, hurriedly and looking for someone who could help. In the back lay a woman in Korean clothing, faded and with holes here and there, her hair was hidden beneath a cloth and her face so dusty her skin looked yellow. Captain BJ Hunnicut, dressed in army drabs a great contrast with the faded red of the woman’s dress, happened to walk by and since he was a doctor he decided to take a look.  
“What happened to her?” he said, more to himself than to the Korean. The man didn’t appear to speak any English but began talking and didn’t stop. BJ knew a few words of Korean but not nearly enough to know what this man was saying. BJ called for Radar as loud as he could. “I was just on my way, sir” Corporal Radar O’Reilly said as he walked up to BJ. “What is this man saying?” BJ asked, looking from Radar to the Korean and back. Radar talked to the man, probably asking him to begin his story again. He listened intently for a while that reported to BJ: “He said they found this woman on the side of the road. Naked, with no clothes on (he whispered into BJ’s ear). They left her for a while because of her devil hair but when she was still there after a few days, he decided to bring her here since they don’t want her back at the village. They’re afraid she brings bad luck.” BJ was fuming. How could anyone find a woman at the side of the road and leave her there? “What’s all this hubbub about?” yelled Colonel Sherman Potter. He was in a foul mood, with all the boredom and the practical jokes and everyone being gloomy. “I don’t want any loitering in front of pre-op. Get his jeep out of here!” He smashed his hand down on the hood of the jeep so hard, BJ wondered how the woman was still unconscious. The Colonel walked away again, not really interested or maybe more preoccupied with getting the mail in. Radar started to explain the situation to the Colonel while walking one step behind him. BJ shrugged his shoulders and lifted the woman from the truck. At least it gave him something useful to do. The Korean man drove off in a hurry, happy to be freed from the devil-haired woman. BJ brought her straight to OR, since there were no empty beds in post-op. BJ examined the woman’s arms and legs but couldn’t find more than a few bruises and scrapes. Before he could continue his examination, Colonel Potter and Major Margaret Houlihan entered OR. They both started yelling immediately. Potter about BJ not having scrubs on or washing his hands before touching the woman, BJ wondered how he knew. Margaret yelled about BJ examining a female patient without another woman present to preserve her dignity. BJ shrugged his shoulders again: “I just wanted to help.” Both the Colonel and the Major shouted at him: “Out!” He had no other choice but to scram. 

BJ hadn’t even had a proper look at the woman. With the dirt on her face and the Korean outfit, he wouldn’t be able to recognise her if she was right in front of him. BJ went straight to the Swamp to complain to his friend, Captain Hawkeye Pierce, about what had happened. The Swamp was tidier than it usually was. With the spare time the doctors had at theirs hand, they had decided to clean up for a change. Even the floor had been cleaned, although by this time there were dirty footprints and laundry to be seen again. As BJ told his story, all Hawkeye seemed to think was ‘new female flesh in camp.’ Women were his pastime, so for him it was always nice to have a new plaything. As soon as BJ had vented all he had to vent, which did not only include the getting yelled at but also the fact that the mail hadn’t come in a few days and Hawkeye’s dirty laundry, Hawkeye stood up briskly and said he would look into the whole thing. Major Charles Emerson Winchester the third laughed his disdainful laugh and said: “The last thing that woman needs right now, is a doctor drooling at the side of her bed.” “I was just going to check her out” said Hawkeye with one hand on the door and a boyish grin on his face “check the situation out, I mean.” Charles also stood up: “What she needs now is a capable doctor. No signs of injury but unconscious. She needs someone like me.” BJ butted in: “Maybe she just needs a friend and a listening ear. Who knows what happened to her.” The guys all looked at each other and smiled. “You’re on,” said Charles, usually not the one to play games but there was no better time for it than now “as soon as she’s conscious, we’ll see what she needs and who she needs it from.” They all headed to post-op to await the arrival of the woman there.

They found Colonel Potter sitting at the desk, trying to fill in some paperwork. BJ asked him about the situation. “She’s a real Jane Doe,” the Colonel answered “We know nothing about her. No dog tags, a weird outfit and she’s been unconscious all through the examination. We have no idea what’s going on here. We will be needing all of your help to crack this case.” Margaret was sitting next to the woman, gently washing her face with a cloth. She obviously knew more than Charles, BJ or Hawkeye, but she treated it has her little secret. “She’s a real beauty,” she said, she didn’t sound jealous like she usually would, “I wonder how she ended up in a place like this.” Hawkeye walked over carefully as if his footsteps could wake the sleeping woman. When he saw her face, he didn’t say anything. He even kept a straight face, although there was a twinkle in his eyes. BJ was still talking to Colonel Potter but Charles noticed and went over to ask Hawkeye what had gotten into him. As soon as he looked at the woman, he said: “The antes are upped, I see.” The woman really was a beauty. Beneath the Korean dust was a sweet little face, with no overly pronounced features. She was very pale though, except a bruise on her forehead and scrapes on both her cheeks. On her head was an enormous mass of curly red hair. As soon as BJ saw that, he knew what the Korean had meant with ‘devil hair’. “No degrading remarks, Pierce?” asked Charles to his still silent companion, “Are you ill?” He took Hawkeyes wrist to check his pulse. “Leave me alone, Charles,” Hawkeye said “however beautiful she is, it is a shame she ended up here.” Charles was surprised by that comment but instead of saying anything, he walked back to Colonel Potter to arrange supervision for the woman.


	2. Bored no more

It took three long and boring days for anything to happen. In that time all patients in post-op were ready to be moved and traveled to Seoul. With the hospitable empty, everyone turned their attention on Jane Doe. She woke up a little, every once in a while, but for the most part she remained unconscious. There was a discussion about sending her to Seoul as well but if they did that, they really wouldn’t have anything to do. The Colonel, who was the only one who knew about all her injuries, decided she should not be moved that far, so she stayed at the MASH. Then everything happened at once.  
Early in the morning the mail finally arrived but before anyone could read their second letter, choppers and ambulances came in with a lot of wounded. With post-op empty but for Jane Doe, it was decided to move her to Major Houlihans tent. There she could have some peace and quiet. There were some signs that she may finally be coming around, so there was always at least one nurse at her side.  
It had been such a long day, that at first no one thought about the woman. But when Margaret walked into her tent and screamed with surprise, everyone came running. “What happened?” they asked from outside the door, no-one dared to enter, at least no-one at the front of the group. “She’s awake,” Margaret said as quietly as she could but she could still be heard outside. Hawkeye pushed his way to the front of the group: “Doctor coming through.” He had his usual smile on his face. He opened the door to find a pair of big, green eyes staring right at him. The enormous purple and yellow bruise on the side of her face, matched awkwardly well with the colour of her eyes. He halted for a second, intimidated by the stare. “Let me in” the Colonel said, pushing past him. “Welcome to the 4077th MASH,” he said but after these words, even he had to pause “I’m Colonel Sherman Potter and this is my team of doctors and my head nurse.” The door was open by now and Charles, BJ, Hawkeye, Radar and Father Mulcahy were all outside. “What’s your name and where are your dog-tags?” The questions seemed a little harsh for a woman just recovered from unconsciousness but it was what everyone was wondering to themselves. “I heard you call me Jane” the woman said, her voice scratchy from the disuse. Margaret offered her a cup of water which she drank before continuing: “I rather like that name but they usually call me Fay. I’ve never owned a pair of dog-tags, or a dog for that matter.” Hawkeye smiled at the joke while Charles sighed and said: “Not another one” under his breath. They wanted to ask her more questions but Margaret ordered them all to leave the tent. Fay did seem rather tired already. The group was very much awake now, even after a long session in OR, so they decided to have a cup of coffee in the Mess-tent. After a while Margaret made her way there. One of the nurses was staying by Fay’s side so she could tell the Colonel all the information she had until now. “She’s a journalist,” she told the group after they asked why Fay was even in Korea. The answer wasn’t completely conclusive but it was good enough for now. Except for Charles: “That is preposterous,” he said “why would anyone want a female reporter in the midst of the Korean War. It makes no sense.” BJ and Hawkeye weren’t happy with Charles’ tone but he did have a point. That was definitely something to ask Fay as soon as she had her strength back.

Next morning at breakfast everyone was assembled. Colonel Potter called over Major Houlihan and Father Mulcahy before he sat down at the head of the table that already seated Hawkeye, BJ, Charles and Radar. “Now I want to talk to all of you with regards to Fay,” the Colonel looked at everyone while Hawkeye and Charles exchanged a cunning smile “that girl needs bed-rest for at least two weeks. It’s important that she doesn’t get bored and goes wandering off. I want you all to help keep her entertained but keep your hands off her. I don’t want to hear any complaints about any of you.” They were all silent for a while, wondering what the words really meant. “What do we do?” asked BJ. “I don’t know,” said Potter “talk to her, read her your letters from home, play a game of chess.” Everyone looked at Hawkeye but for once there was no allusion to anything like ‘a game of chest’. Hawkeye seemed deep in thought, clutching one of the letters he had received the previous day.  
They all had an understanding, that they wouldn’t press Fay about who she was, how she had got there and what exactly had happened to her. They would wait until she thought it was time to talk about it. The Colonel and Major Houlihan performed all her check-ups but even they never asked.  
BJ was the first to visit Fay. He read her two of his letters, one send by his wife and the other from his daughter. She didn’t really seem to be listening. She had hid away inside herself but still responded to the talking and smiled, rather sadly, every now and again. She seemed so distracted but very attentive at the same time. Charles listened to his classical music with her. She enjoyed it and even knew a thing or two about it. Father Mulcahy taught her a card game while they talked about sports. She never told him when exactly she had arrived in Korea but she had definitely been here a lot shorter than him or anyone in the camp. Margaret talked about her ex-husband, Donald Penobscott, and Fay completely agreed with her on almost everything. Colonel Potter showed her all the pictures of horses that he had in his office and Klinger talked to her about fashion. She listened to every one of them and even if she didn’t really care for a subject, she listened, smiled, nodded her head and asked questions. But nothing could make her smile.  
People were starting to get worried, especially BJ. He seemed to care a great deal about Fay’s well-being. Hawkeye and Charles suspected it was about more than their bet, but they teased him about it any way. Until one day, BJ snapped. He was just about to tell Hawkeye off, when they heard laughter coming from a tent close-by. It was a wonderful sound to hear during a war. They stayed quiet outside Major Houlihans tent, waiting to see who that laugh belonged to. They heard it once or twice more before the door opened and Radar walked out. Hunnicut was the first to comment: “Radar, you Romeo.” Radar started and then smiled while his face reddened. He wanted to say something but Hawkeye’s comment shut him up: “How did you do it?” “How did I do what, sir?” Radar asked naively. “Get her to laugh like that,” said Pierce wandering around on the spot “I tried everything and it didn’t work.” BJ put a hand on Hawkeye’s shoulder. “You were bested” he said to get Radar off the hook. He immediately took off, his clipboard pressed to his chest. “I don’t know what happened,” said Hawkeye, pointing to the tent “I tried everything to win this stupid bet but she likes all of us equally. Not one of us a little more or a little less.” He sighed. “Not such a bad thing since she’ll be here a few more weeks, at least” said BJ. All Hawkeye did was stare at him a little dazed. “She’ll do some small jobs until she has all her strength back. Apparently she doesn’t know where to go next,” BJ explained. “So I could spend some more time with her,” Hawkeye eyes twinkled “and still win this bet.” He added hastily before walking away.


	3. Answers

When the two weeks of bed-rest were over, Colonel Potter called the doctors, Margaret, Father Mulcahy, Radar and Klinger to the Mess-tent. It was time they got some answers from Fay. They all set waiting excitedly, mugs clenched to hide their nervousness. Especially Charles and Hawkeye hoped to learn something more, to make better advances for their bet. Margaret got Fay from their tent and sat her down at the head of a table with a mug of tea in her hands, while the rest sat waiting on the benches. The bruise on her face had faded to a slightly yellowy colour and had gotten a lot smaller than it was. The Colonel’s first question was, how she got the bruise. “I was hit in the face,” Fay told them matter-of-factly “not very hard but repeatedly.” BJ was shocked but she didn’t want to think about it too much. She didn’t like to talk about herself, and most of them only knew about the bruise on her face. Finally it was Father Mulcahy who asked how she had ended up on their doorstep. Fay still seemed reluctant to talk about her time in Korea before she had arrived but she did tell them a little about herself: “I lived in a boring little town and I wanted to do something with my life. I studied journalism, under a false name of course because women are not allowed to study at that particular institute. I was doing really well in my classes, I had high marks and some of my articles were featured in the weekly newspaper that was published by the college. But in the end, to me, it was all fake. The only thing I was allowed to publish under my own name, in our town newspaper, were new recipes made with the same old ingredients. I decided to come here. I read a lot about the war but men’s perspectives are so different from women’s. I wanted to find a way to let people see the other side of the war: the villages disappearing in a dark night, the children taken to serve in an army they didn’t stand behind. I wanted to show the world that women can write just as well as men.” Margaret patted Fay on the arm. She was all for empowerment for women. Charles didn’t say much. He agreed more with the other side of things: there are just some things women should not, and could not, do. That was all Fay could tell them right now. If she told them that if she said anymore, she might not be able to write about the war anymore. The Colonel asked her where she was going next but she didn’t have an answer. “I hoped I could stay here for a while,” she explained “think about where I want to go and maybe learn some new skills. The Father could teach me to defend myself and I would love to know some medical stuff so I can help the villagers I meet.” They all agreed. She could stay a while but she needed clothes. Margaret had some old army clothes. They were too big for her and definitely too big for Fay but she didn’t mind. At least with these on she would blend in. Klinger gave her a few dresses but she couldn’t wear them until they were taken in.


	4. Life with Fay

Weeks went by and Fay recovered. She went from a sack of rags and bones to a smiling young woman. She got out of her bed and started helping in the kitchen and with the supplies. Margaret even taught her how to place bandages and how to read a medical chart. She smiled and laughed with everyone in camp, she comforted the patients and even made the food more bearable. All seemed to be going well but there were still some issues, but not everyone noticed.

Margaret Houlihan always criticized Fay’s clothing. Every item she had received was at least a size too big and Fay wore them as is. “Why don’t you use all that skill to make those clothes fit you properly?” It wasn’t the first time Margaret asked the question. Fay was sitting outside their tent on a crate, knitting a scarf for nurse Baker. She was even making pockets at the end of it, so Baker could remove her hands quickly if need arise. She didn’t look up when she answered: “I like to have my clothes a little baggy.” She was definitely done with this conversation but Margaret wasn’t. “You’re a disgrace to the…” Margaret wanted to say ‘army’ but Fay wasn’t in it “to this MASH unit. If a general walked in here, he would know immediately that you don’t belong here.” Fay had to look up now. She knew she wasn’t meant to be here, and she would rather have been someplace else but under the circumstances, she was trying to make the place her home. A few people walked by, aware of the tension between the two women. Fay stood up slowly, carefully putting the unfinished scarf down. She stood close to Margaret and said, very calmly: “Listen Margaret, (she intentionally left out the woman’s rank) your nurses may be at your every beck and call but I’m not in the army. If you want me to do anything, you have to ask nicely.” Margaret’s face went red and she tried to say something but could only stammer. Hawkeye and BJ walked by just at the right time. “What’s going on here?” Both the women didn’t know who had asked, they were still staring at each other, only a few inches between them. “Hello, Korea calling” Hawkeye waved an arm in the small space between the women. They both started. Fay moved back immediately while Margaret looked at her triumphantly; in her mind this meant she had won. Fay waved one hand in the air, picked up her knitting project and walked away towards the Mess-tent. “What was that about?” BJ asked. Hawkeye looked at Fay and wondered if he should go after her. “Nothing,” Margaret said “she just doesn’t listen to me.” Hawkeye turned to her and pointed a finger at her: “And you hate it when people don’t obey your every whim.” Margaret’s eyes widened in shock: “That’s not true.” Her voice shrieked so much, Fay turned around. Margaret saw and went into her tent quickly. BJ knocked at the door, wanting to talk some more about this but Margaret shooed them away. 

In Fay, Father Mulcahy finally had a regular churchgoer, and as soon as Charles found out, he went as well. Major Winchester knew that this was the one place, day and time, Hawkeye would not impose on Fay’s attention. Charles quickly learned that Fay wasn’t very religious but that she liked the Father’s view on things. After the Father had given his written and practiced sermon, they would talk about the subject further, mostly until the tent was needed for other purposes. The first day Charles had attended the service, he had gone out immediately after it was over. He had waited for Fay outside but after waiting more than half an hour, he had given up. The next time, he waited to see what happened and stayed to listen to the discussion. They usually ended up talking about the war and any new issues that had arisen therein. Fay was very up-to-date about all the events, an advantage she had from being a journalist, albeit a freelance one. Winchester was intrigued about all the information she had. He didn’t recall her ever gotten any letters or papers that could inform her about any of this. One Sunday morning after a particularly heated discussion, he asked her about it on their way out. First she only smiled mysteriously, a thing she appeared to be very good at. Over a cup of coffee for him and tea for her, he insisted. Finally she explained: “There is a sort of network, if you will. Almost all villages are connected to it. There are letters in Korean, English, Dutch, Chinese, and other. The letters are hidden under rocks, in houses, on people. If you know who or what to ask for, you can get a lot of good information.” Charles raised his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to be so baffling. “And of course, you know the password,” he said “or whatever is required to get the information. I’m surprised.” She smiled that smile again: “I’ll let you know if anything about you comes along.” Before he could say anything, she had left the table. 

Radar had found an unlikely ally in Fay. Radar’s quirkiness and Fay’s quiet elegance seemed to put them worlds apart, but they both loved animals very much. Fay helped Radar to care for his pets. She even knew a few remedies for common issues that Radar had no idea about. They learned from each other. They both were carrying a rabbit from the grazing pen back to their cages when Fay said to Radar: “You should be a vet. You’re great with animals so you could really make a difference in the world.” Radar blushed: “O geesh, I don’t know. There’s always so much work on the farm. I don’t think my mom and Uncle Ed have enough money to send me to school.” Fay looked at him: “Don’t you have any money saved here. You must have put some money aside.” Radar shook his head: “I’ve send as much as I could back home.” They talked about it some more, that day and almost every day after it. Fay really tried to talk Radar into enrolling into veterinary school after the war was over. At first he was reluctant but after they had talked about it a lot, and after some encouragement from both Colonel Potter and Captain Pierce, the idea started to grow on Radar. Hawkeye even tried to talk him into leaving his job in Korea and returning home to start his studies, but Radar declined that offer seriously. He didn’t want to leave his friends behind for a dream he only had started pursuing a little while ago.

Fay’s ability to speak Korean was a terrific asset to the camp. The day the MASH did the physical examinations for the children from the orphanage, she helped with all the children that couldn’t speak English. When the children arrived she was handed a little girl who refused to say anything in any other language than Korean. At first Fay held the child awkwardly and talked to it in broken sentences, but when the girl opened up to her, a smile appeared on her face and they talked almost constantly. The girl didn’t want to leave Fay anymore, so she held her while taking groups of children from one station to the next and explaining what they were meant to do. The children liked talking their mother tongue and even taught Fay a few words she didn’t yet know. While they were eating in the Mess-tent, Fay was sitting alone with the little girl on her lap. Hawkeye wanted to go sit with her but a few of the older children and BJ, asked him to join them. “Did you examine that girl?” Hawkeye asked BJ. “Yeah, why?” the two words were unclear because BJ was talking with his mouth full of horrible food. “She keeps pointing at Fay’s abdomen,” Hawkeye said frowning “maybe she saying she’s a pain there.” BJ shrugged: “There was nothing special about her. Just some vitamin deficiency.” They didn’t have any more time to talk, or think, about it. As the children were leaving, Fay had substituted the girl for a big pile of paperwork. They waved goodbye to the truck full of children. Hawkeye snuck up on Fay. He seemed a little worried about either her or the little girl she’d been carrying around. “That girl seemed to like you” Fay started hearing his voice close behind her. “She was adorable,” Fay had a smile on her face as she turned around. “Why was she pointing at your abdomen?” Hawkeye asked, there was no way to disguise the question. “Someone had told her that’s where babies come from,” was the simple answer “she kept talking about it, saying one day she would have a baby too.” BJ hear and smiled: “She now probably thinks that all women carry a baby inside of them, ready to pop out whenever the women want them.” Fay laughed at the joke but Hawkeye was serious. “Maybe she thought you are a mother already” he said “you looked really comfortable with the children.” Fay looked at him and slowly raised an eyebrow: “Thanks, I guess. Don’t think that will ever happen though.” BJ agreed: “Why not? You’d make a great mother.” Fay blushed and walked away without saying anything other than that she had a lot of paperwork to be filed. 

Thinking about their bet, both Charles and Hawkeye tried to get Fay alone and telling them more about herself. But usually when one of them was with her somewhere, the other noticed and joined in the conversation. Unlike most nurses, Fay regularly went to the Swamp. She always had a mug of tea in her hands and she never drank anything from the still. The upside of all these conversations was that Charles, BJ and Hawkeye learned a bit more about each other and actually became better friends. 

Another person who had made friends with Fay was Maxwell Klinger. Since she helped out in the kitchen, he and the cook half of the time didn’t know what to do with the food that came in. One day such a shipment had come in but Fay was in the showers. Because she was always in there alone, Klinger stood outside the door talking to her. Of course Hawkeye noticed. He knew exactly when the women were allowed to use the shower. He went up to Klinger but at first Klinger ignored him, continuing his conversation with Fay. When they were silent for a little while, Hawkeye asked Klinger: “How do you know she’s in there?” Klinger stepped away from the showers to talk to Hawkeye: “She’s always in here at this time, and the nurses aren’t. Houlihan wouldn’t allow anyone to use the showers the same time as Fay.” It was a very weird rule but Margaret must have her reasons for it. Klinger went closer to the showers and tried to hurry Fay. There was food that needed to be refrigerated and the truck was in the way. When she came out of the tent, her hair was still in a bun. It was the first time anyone ever saw that because she always wore her hair down. Hawkeye stopped dead in his track. He was an ear-man and this was his first, and probably only shot, to look at Fay’s ears, but his attention quickly shifted to a scar that disappeared behind her hairline at the top and her shirt at the bottom. It looked quite fresh, very pink and a little swollen. “How did she get a scar like that?” Hawkeye wondered, not expecting to get an answer. But just that moment BJ walked by and said: “It’s just a scar. It probably turned that pink because of the hot water. It’s nothing to worry about.” But those words were enough for Hawkeye to think more about the scar than he would have if BJ had kept quiet. And he hadn’t even seen her ears.  
Fay had told them already she had written a lot of recipes, when that was still the only thing she was allowed to write about. That’s why she helped a lot in the kitchen and the food seemed better. Every once in a while she went out with Klinger or Igor and came back with fresh food, eggs and vegetables. She had even learned to use the local herbs and spices, which made the food taste more exotic. When someone saw her writing and asked what she was writing, it was always about the food she cooked but they knew there must be more. She had come to Korea to write about the war, so there should be some articles out there. A lot of people pestered her about it, but she never revealed her alibi, afraid she wouldn’t be able to write anymore if anyone knew. She did tell Margaret, Charles and Father Mulcahy that a few of her articles were published in ‘The Stars and Stripes’. They all read the paper with a little more attention after that, trying to figure out which articles could be Fay’s. They never found out though, not yet anyway.

One day Hawkeye walked into the Swamp gloating. “I know something you don’t know” he laughed into Charles’ face. “I would gladly heard what that is” said Charles. “Okay but I’ll tell you anyway” Hawkeye said while he sat down on his bunk. “Fay told me she grew up on the East coast. But by the age of five had lost her father.” “Her mother remarried and they moved west” said Charles. Hawkeye looked at him puzzled. “Go on” said BJ, he hadn’t heard this yet. “By the age of twelve she had lost both her parents in an accident, car and train, and she moved in with her only aunt…” “In the middle of the country. She told me the exact same story this morning” said Charles, he was a little upset. “At least she’s not lying to one of you” said BJ but he was silenced by a look from both Charles and Hawkeye. “I am going to speak with her” said Charles as he stood up and left. “I’m going to talk to Radar and find out more” said Hawkeye. “I think it’s time to stop this nonsense” BJ said but no-one was listening anymore.  
Both Charles and Hawkeye didn’t get very far. Margaret refused to let Charles inside her tent because Fay wasn’t feeling too well and was sleeping. And all Radar knew about Fay was her real name and the fact that she hadn’t written any letters while at camp. Charles slipped a note under the door to make an appointment with Fay that evening. While Hawkeye composed the idea to break into the office at night and search for a file on Fay. If Radar didn’t want to give him the information, he was going to steal it.  
Both struck out again that evening. Fay turned up for her ‘date’ with Charles but refused both wine and tiramisu. They listened to half a record before Fay left again. Hawkeye found a file on Fay but all it contained was her full name: Fiona Allison Yvette O’Conor. Radar hadn’t been lying, he knew nothing more. The men met each other outside the Swamp, both feeling dejected and miserable. “Looks like you struck out” BJ said as Charles come into the tent with his almost full bottle of wine. “Haha,” said Charles “I don’t want to talk about it.” He took Pierce by the elbow and led him out of the tent again. “I want to be frank with you, Pierce” he said quietly. “O no,” was Hawkeye’s reply “you can be Frank with Margaret but not with me.” “Haha,” Winchester said again “Quit your joking and listen to me for once. I want to ask you to stop your pursuit of Fay. She is an honourable person who deserves better than the likes of you. She loves the same things I love and she’s the only one in this hell-hole who does. You go after the nurses, but please leave Fay alone.” Pierce raised his eyebrows: “You want out of our bet, because you feel like you’re losing.” “I…” Charles started with a raised voice which he quickly quieted down “I am not losing and this isn’t about me. I say this for Fay’s sake.” “Sure but she isn’t a damsel in distress Charles, she doesn’t need you to open doors for her” Hawkeye smiled at him. “I know that,” Charles was clearly distressed “But I don’t know that I did that was so wrong for her to reject me like that.” Pierce had turned to go back inside but turned back quickly: “She rejected you? When? How?” Charles wiped his face with his hand before answering: “I tried to take her hand for a dance but she pulled away from me and left. I was humiliated but I think…. Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe she just didn’t like the wine.” For once Hawkeye didn’t have a clever thing to say. The same thing had happened to him. Charles opted for a truce so they could find out what had happened to Fay but before they could begin their investigation the next day, she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment to let me know what can be improved in my writing. This is the first thing I've every made public and I'm a little anxious about what people will think of it.


	5. And life without her

They didn’t notice her absence at first. It was only after a short four hour session in surgery, when she wasn’t there to comfort the patients and pass around drinks. Before they could walk out of post-op to the tent she shared with Margaret, she stopped them to ask where Fay was. “I know she was with you last night,” Margaret said to Charles “I read the note.” Charles pulled a face, not happy that his personal affairs had been noticed by her. They started bickering about who had seen Fay last. As soon as BJ and Hawkeye noticed nobody knew, they walked to the Colonel’s office.

  
Hawkeye was pacing again while BJ stood with his arms folded in front of his body. “Why did you let her go?” Pierce almost shouted at the Colonel. “She is not in the army,” Potter said “I couldn’t do anything to stop her. I’m just wondering what you lot did to scare her away. I want to punish the person responsible.” BJ was a little shocked by what the Colonel said, he wasn’t very big on punishments but he was really angry this time. “She must have said something to someone” Hawkeye threw his hands in the air before opening the door to let Radar into the office. The Majors came into the office still bickering. They didn’t really notice BJ and Hawkeye. They told the Colonel Fay was gone but that nobody knew who saw her last. “I know,” said Potter. Both Charles and Margaret’s eyes widened by the thought the Colonel knew more about it. “I know she’s gone,” the Colonel explained “I know she wanted to leave, I did not expect it to happen so sudden. Has she said anything to either of you? Maybe left a note in your tent?” Margaret ran out while Charles told the Colonel, in faltering words, that he had nothing to do with Fay leaving and that she hadn’t said anything. In a few minutes of more pacing and deep thought, Margaret was back. Fay had left all the items of clothing she was given but for one pair of pants and a shirt. She had left no note or any other hint. “Maybe there’s something in her writing” BJ opted. “She hasn’t written any letters since she came here” Radar reminded him. “No, no,” BJ explained “I meant in the articles she wrote. She told me she was published in ‘The Stars and Stripes’.” They all nodded their heads, it was a good idea. “Does anyone know which name she used?” Charles burst their bubble. Now they all shook their heads. No one knew the alias Fay had used. They decided to try and find the articles anyway. She must have left some clue, somewhere. They didn’t even know if she had written anything while at the MASH. It was the best lead they had in finding out more about her, maybe even finding her.

“Colonel Potter asks you to come into his office” Margaret said the words to Hawkeye in passing. “Wait, he asks?” Hawkeye mused over the words while taking hold of Margaret’s arm. She nodded and pulled away. Raising an eyebrow, Hawkeye made his way to the Colonel’s office, he didn’t really have anything better to do. Colonel Potter was sitting at his desk, reading through some file which he closed as soon as Hawkeye entered. “Sit down, son” the tone was more commanding than the asking to come here, but Hawkeye listened. “I’ve send for Sidney Freedman” the Colonel said. “Good,” said Pierce without knowing why the Colonel had done it “he can talk to Fay as soon as she’s back. Maybe all this will finally get sorted.” Potter shook his head: “I’ve called him for you.” Hawkeye mouthed the words while pointing at himself: “Me?” The Colonel gave a little sigh before he said: “You haven’t been yourself lately and I thought it would do you a world of good to talk to Freedman. It can’t hurt anyway.” Hawkeye still had the letter in his pocket, as he had had since the day it had arrived. His hand went to it and as soon as he noticed he thought that maybe he should talk to someone. “All right,” he said, standing up but with his head hanging low “I’ll talk to him.” He left right away and the Colonel thought that that had gone a lot easier than he had imagined.

  
“So how are you feeling?” It was Freedman’s opening question, always had been and always would be. Hawkeye had anticipated the question and had practiced his answer: “I’m doing very well, considering I’m still here.” He smiled as he said it. Sidney waited for him to say more, looking at him pacing up and down the Swamp, but Hawkeye stayed silent. “So what’s going on? Why am I here?” he finally asked. “You’re here because the Colonel called you,” Hawkeye said “I don’t know why he did. I hoped it would be to talk to… someone else.” He couldn’t mention her name. Hawkeye wondered if Freedman even knew about Fay. They should have called him weeks ago, before she had suddenly left. Maybe he was feeling a little guilty about that, about not having had the sense to call Freedman. “But Potter said I had to talk to you,” Sidney’s voice was calm as ever “Apparently you’ve been acting different and I wonder why. Everybody wonders why. So tell me about it.” He had to wait a while before the taller man started talking again. “It’s just making even less sense than it did before” was Hawkeye’s answer. “When did it start to make less sense?” asked Sidney “Or should I ask who did it start with?” Hawkeye ignored the second question: “I guess it started a few weeks ago. We were bored out of our skulls and the mail didn’t arrive. We had a lot of time to think. And that’s the one thing you shouldn’t do because it doesn’t make sense, a war.” Sidney nodded his head: “What exactly doesn’t make sense?” Hawkeye stood up and started pacing: “Being here doesn’t make sense.” He had thought about it before the conversation. “For anybody in particular?” That question came out of the blue for Hawkeye. He blushed just a little and thought about it: “For all the innocent bystanders.” It wasn’t really an answer but it encompassed what he wanted to say. He wondered how much Freedman really knew. “What else?” the man with the notepad asked “That can’t be all of it.” Hawkeye sat down again: “When the mail finally arrived, there was this letter from my dad telling me a high-school girlfriend of mine is getting married. You should know I had an agreement with this girl. In about a year’s time I would meet her in front of our old school to see if we should have been together all along. If we were both still single, we were going to live together and see what happens. But now she’s getting married, she probably won’t come. And my dad always liked that girl best. Now he is saying: if she is settled down, you should settle down. He doesn’t even know about our agreement. But I’ve been thinking that maybe he is right.” Hawkeye was quiet for a moment, letting the words sink in. He himself had been reluctant to really think about it, let alone say what he thought. “That’s why you haven’t been harassing the nurses?” the question hung in the air. “Yes,” Hawkeye said but he didn’t sound convincing “that’s exactly why.” Hawkeye was saved from further conversation by the PA: “Incoming wounded.” He left as quickly as he could, deep in thought. Sidney Freedman followed shortly after him. He could see Hawkeye was still thinking about their conversation and suspected there was more to it than what Hawkeye had said, but he was never really a man to open up.

  
Sidney talked to other people around camp. He had done so before his talk to Hawkeye but now there were different questions to ask. No one knew about the letter from his dad, he hadn’t even said a word to BJ about it. Freedman stayed at the 4077th as long as he could. He first heard about Fay during a weekly poker game. He talked to the Colonel about her next day and after that to almost all the staff. Everyone had something to say about Fay and about the way she had acted. Freedman became curious about her and decided to stay and help find her.

  
For the first time since they met, he talked to Major Winchester. Normally they just exchanged courtesies but this time they sat down in the Mess-tent over a cup of coffee, or what brownish liquid passed under that name. Charles was still not happy to be at the MASH but underneath the regular layer of loathing and misery, there was some actual happiness. Freedman tried to figure out where it came from, that unusual smile that sometimes suddenly lingered on his face. It took him all of an hour to figure out that Charles had found someone to share his passions with. Even now the person had gone, he was more relaxed and more approachable than he usually was. The more he learned about her, the more curious Sidney got about Fay.

 

For two weeks they scoured every edition of ‘The Stars and Strips’ that they could find. But they found no clue about someone with the initials FAY of FO. It took them that long because there were a lot of casualties but every one’s spare time was taken up with the task.

  
But then one day Radar came by the Swamp and almost ordered BJ, Charles and Hawkeye to go to Colonel Potter’s office. He still had to get Father Mulcahy and Major Houlihan. “I’ll get her,” Pierce said as he walked out and in the direction of her tent. His feet had wanted to go there so often the past weeks but he had always realized that he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. He knocked at the door. “Go away” Margaret howled in her usual way. “I can’t,” said Hawkeye “I have orders from Radar to get you to go to the Colonel’s office. I think it’s important; we all have to go.” Margaret stuck her head out from behind the door: “Is it to do with Fay?” Hawkeye started walking away but said over his shoulder: “I hadn’t thought of that.”

  
They all crowded into the office, more people than it would actually fit. BJ and Hawkeye were near the door. Margaret stood next to the Colonel’s chair, hoping to drink in every word he said. Charles was leaning against a wall, while the Father sat on a chair. The Colonel walked in to find them all there. “This is the fastest you’ve ever reported yourselves” he sounded surprised when he said it. After a few minutes Klinger came in and took the other chair in the room. Lastly Radar came in, letter in hand, shaking like there was no tomorrow. Everyone was silent with anticipation. Everyone but Hawkeye: “What is it? The end of the war? I haven’t dressed for that.” He was wearing his red robe. Everyone was still in their morning attire; the first stages of getting dressed. “I can’t do it, sir” said Radar as he pushed the letter into the Colonels hands. “It’s a letter addressed to the MASH but with Fay’s name on the back” he said in a quiet and sad voice. Everyone seemed to hold their breaths. “Open it already” Charles said breaking the silence. The Colonel opened the letter with a not so steady hand. “It’s nothing,” he said surprised “Just a few letters: R B M.” They repeated the letters quietly to themselves, trying to think of their meaning. “What if it’s initials,” BJs voice chimed through the office. “The initials of the name she uses when writing for the ‘Stars and Stripes’” Charles said standing up straight. Charles and Margaret walked out, talking as if they knew the initials of everyone who had ever written for the magazine. “How are we going to do this?” Hawkeye asked “Why did she send this to us now?” He paced up and down the room, in the little space that was left between the different people still in there. “I think we need the newest issue first,” the Colonel mused “we have to know what and when she has written last.” BJ agreed: “Good plan, Colonel. We’ll have to go through all those papers again.” Colonel Potter stood up from his chair: “Now I know you boys are tired but I feel it in my wonky knee that this is important. We have to find this as soon as we can. Can I count on you?” Everyone left nodded their heads. They walked out together. BJ put his arm around Hawkeye’s shoulder: “You all right, buddy?” Pierce shrugged the arm off while mumbling that he was fine. BJ knew he wasn’t but if he didn’t want to talk about it that was the end of it.


	6. The truth comes out

Hawkeye was pacing up and down the Swamp, flicking through the latest ‘Stars and Stripes’ for the third time in a row. It was a habit he had picked up from his friend, BJ, who would go through his medical journals when he wasn’t happy with an operation. “I must have missed it” he kept saying, more to himself than to BJ. He threw the journal in the air and almost threw himself on his bed. He had started pulling a blanket across his face when Margaret’s voice could be hear all over the compound. She yelped and said: “I found it!” She came into the Swamp, talking in such a high pitch that no one understood. They tried to calm her down while outside, more people gathered to listen. Finally she was able to say the words: “I found an article by a Robert Ben Moore.” BJ said, in his matter-of-factly way: “RBM, that’s right.” Hawkeye had gotten up and he was waving his hands around: “What does it say?” Margaret scraped her throat to read, just when Charles walked in: “I came as soon as I heard.” Margaret squinted her eyes at him to be quiet and then started reading:   
“By the hand of Robert Ben Moore, in the company of about two dozen men. Since last writing, our Commanding Officer was taken to the recovery hospital in Seoul. While waiting for his next orders, we have taken a prisoner of war. Said person was found spying on our company from behind a bush, writing about our movements and the temporary loss of our Commanding Officer. We would not take any risk and have captured the spy. We have the prisoner gagged and bound at all times and are trying to get all the information we can.” Margaret’s voice trailed off while Charles began shouting: “This is preposterous. This cannot be written by Fay. She was lying to me when she told me she only wrote facts. She lied to me.” He walked away very angrily, back to post-op to continue his rounds. “Read on,” said Hawkeye to Margaret. Her eyes trailed over the rest of the article before she shook her head: “I can’t. I’m going to give this to Colonel Potter and let him decide what to do with it.” Before BJ or Hawkeye could do or say anything, she had left on a trod. Hawkeye seemed torn between walking after Margaret and hiding under his blanket again. “Would she really lie?” said BJ softly.

Colonel Potter had received the article from Margaret and had read it. He was contemplating its contents when Hawkeye entered his office, closely followed by BJ. “I want to read it” Pierce had never sounded more demanding. “I’m still thinking about it,” Potter answered “you don’t have to look for it, it’s in my secret safe. The one even Radars doesn’t know the code to.” Hawkeye was pacing again. “What’s with that boy?” asked Potter quietly to BJ. “Beats me” was the answer. Their conversation was cut short by the PA announcer: “Incoming wounded. All medical staff proceed to the compound for triage.” Potter heaved a sigh; he was tired and preoccupied. Still he was the first one to leave his office. BJ had to drag Hawkeye, who was standing in front of the safe, away.  
There were so many patients the nurses did most of the triage. The doctors went in to scrub up and start operating. Colonel Potter lingered a while, unsure himself why. Until he saw a familiar frame walking into camp. Her hair was all tied back again and her face was very dirty but the gait was unmistakably Fay’s. She walked slowly and looks like she may be in pain. “What are you doing here?” Potter asked her loudly while walking up to her. “I didn’t know where else to go” she said, keeping her head low. “I’m sorry for yelling,” Potter said quickly “go to my office and make sure nobody sees you until I’m done in surgery. I want to talk to you.” He started walking away but heard a ‘yes sir’ in a small voice behind him. Fay listened to him. She made sure nobody saw her while she roamed around camp to use the latrine, wash her face and hide a note in the Swamp. After that she went to the Colonel’s office and waited. The wait was so long, she napped spread over both chairs. Radar walked in a few times and brought her food and water but he knew he had to keep his mouth shut about this. For once he would keep a secret.

Colonel Potter had told Sidney Freedman that Fay had arrived. The psychiatrist had gone into the Colonel’s office to talk to her. She had finally told someone all that had happened to her. After a few hours of waiting for the Colonel to come out of surgery, Fay had fallen asleep again. She slept for hours until suddenly she woke up screaming. The doctors were in the dressing room and the Colonel had almost forgotten about Fay. When he arrived in his office, together with Charles, BJ, Hawkeye and Margaret, Fay was sitting in his chair, a trusty mug of tea in hand, Sidney on one side of her and Radar on the other. She looked shaken up and very tired. Margaret kept everyone back. When Radar left the office, she took his place at Fay’s side. It took a while before the hubbub of questions and exclamations died down. All the while, Fay sat in the chair sipping her tea. She wasn’t paying attention to anyone around her. When Father Mulcahy walked in, everyone went quiet but no one knew exactly why. Freedman took the opportunity to ask Fay if she was ready to talk. She nodded her head and said ‘yes’ in a very quiet voice. 

The small room, full of people, breathed silence. Fay did not look like was going to talk anytime soon but Sidney helped her along. “Why did you come back here?” It didn’t seem a logical first question but Freedman looked like a man with a plan. “I have nowhere else to go” Fay’s voice shook so much she didn’t sound like herself. “I don’t think anyone will object to you being here,” Sidney said “but you have to tell them a little bit about yourself. They should know where you come from and why you can’t go back.” Fay nodded her head again, took a deep breath and started her story: “I’m here because there is nothing left for me in America. I have no family and no place to go.” Colonel Potter interrupted her: “Everyone has some family, there must be somewhere you can go.” But Fay explained: “My parents met on their way to America. My father was an Irishman named Ben O’Conor, my mother came from the continent. They went to New York but weren’t completely happy in the big city. When I was born, they moved south. We lived in North-Carolina until I was five. My father died in a building accident and my mother moved us back to New York. After a while she met a businessman, named Moore, and decided to marry him. He was originally from the west coast so we moved there. When my mother died in a train accident, my step-father jumped into a car but was killed on the way to the hospital. My mother didn’t survive either. I went to live with my only aunt, a widow with no children. I was happy on her farm. Eventually I started my journalism study. It was via mail so I gave them the name of one of the farmhands, Robert Jones. When my aunt passed away, she left me almost nothing. That’s why I decided to come here and try to change my fortune, as my parents did before me.” “Not the best place to go” Hawkeye said. “So that’s where Robert Ben Moore came from” Margaret concluded. “Yes, that’s it,” said Fay. Charles eyes widened: “You lied!” His face was red with anger: “You lied to me. You said you only wrote facts.” Fay was slumped into the chair, almost disappearing in the folds of the dress she was wearing. She took a sip of her tea before continuing: “I lied a little. But most of it is real.” Charles couldn’t keep his mouth shut: “You lied a lot. You are not a man and not in the army, and therefore you could not have taken a prisoner.” Sidney tried to calm Charles down, noticing that Fay was getting worked up as well. Sidney talked softly to Charles, trying to explain things without taking the wind out of Fay’s sails. She had to tell them herself, he knew it was very important but he was on the verge of revealing all himself. Eventually Fay took a few deep breaths, looked straight at Charles and with a tear rolling down her cheeks, said: “It is almost true. Only I was not the officer. I was the prisoner.” The room went quiet again but Radar could be heard to gasp at the other side of the door. “I thought as much when I read the article,” the Colonel said “I’m very sorry for what happened to you.” Fay had gone quiet but there were tears streaming down her face. The silence lay heavy on everyone’s shoulders. Sidney waited until she was calmer to ask more of Fay. Charles realised he had been insensitive but he didn’t know how to apologise. “What happened?” it was BJ who dragged out the question. “They thought I was a spy,” Fay explained “they bound me and gagged me, hit me and tortured me to get me to confess to something that wasn’t the truth. Their Commanding Officer came back and ordered them to let me go.” It wasn’t what they had expected to hear. Especially Charles had convinced himself of the fact that Fay had lied. The truth hurt them all. Once in a while you heard about people taken prisoner, less frequently you heard about torture but never had they seen this side of the truth. Fay was damaged, inside and out, and what they had to do now, was help her heal. “We should track the people who did this down” it was the Colonel who finally broke the silence this time. “You should sue them” Hawkeye said. “You should do something” BJ was a little more sensible. They knew it would be Fay’s word against that of military personnel. There was only a small chance a judge and jury would believe her.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment on my story, so I can learn how to make it better.


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